


Never Been In Love

by academmia



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Arguments, Falling In Love, Fluff, Humor, Logan is confused, M/M, Shovel talks, a tiny bit of angst, best buds analogical, outsider pov, post fwsa, so much fluff i cannot, spoilers for the new episode!!!, virgil and roman are gay idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/academmia/pseuds/academmia
Summary: Logan has seen Virgil go through it all.He's seen Virgil Sarcastic and closed off, snarling at anyone who gets close. He's seen him hesitant, flinching away from everything as if Logan is going to hurt him. He's seen Virgil angry, a thunderstorm of rage and panic. He's seen Virgil sleepy, relaxed as he watches documentaries in Logan's room in the middle of the night. He never thought he'd see Virgil fall in love.Or: Logan watching Roman and Virgil fall in love after the mall
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 152





	Never Been In Love

Logan sighed, erasing yet another block on his schedule. He’s been working on this for hours and yet he felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere. Thomas’s impromptu trip to the mall certainly didn’t help matters. 

Speaking of the mall, Virgil hadn’t come to knock on his door yet. Logan frowned. That was odd. Usually, after trips high in socialization, Virgil comes to his room to collapse into the beanbag at the corner of his room and relax. Sometimes Logan would walk him through a breathing exercise and sometimes the two of them would talk about meaningless things. But Virgil wasn’t here which meant the outing either went very well or very poorly and Logan felt uneasy having to deal with either outcome. 

Logan winced as his wrist cramped up again. His head pounded and his eyelids were getting heavier by the second. He pushed his desk chair back as he stood up. He grabbed the old coffee mug Virgil had gotten him for his birthday that read  _ #1 nerd;  _ He certainly needed the refill. 

He slid on his unicorn slippers, left his room, and headed down the stairs to the living room. He expected the living room to be clean and quiet, but what he saw when he got downstairs was complete chaos. 

Thomas’s suitcase was on the floor and it was filled with a couple of crop tops, his old Disney ears, and six hello fresh meals. Clothes were thrown all around the living room, and Roman currently throwing a T-shirt across the room wasn’t helping with the mess. Virgil was sitting on the couch with a bottle of grape soda watching Roman with a surprisingly relaxed expression. 

“What are you two doing?” He said, unable to keep his silence any longer.

Roman whirled around with a giddy smile on his face that Logan hadn’t seen since before the trial, “We, my dear nerd, are packing to go on a trip to France, with Thomas’ amazing new boyfriend.” 

“Hold up,” Logan said, nearly dropping his mug, “Thomas has a boyfriend?” 

“Well, yes that’s what I just said,” Roman said, throwing a bottle of maple syrup into his suitcase for reasons unknown to Logan. 

“How did he get this boyfriend?” Logan asked. 

“True love,” Roman said and when Logan gave him a look Roman rolled his eyes, “Fine, we met him at the mall,” 

_ I need more coffee for this,  _ “Alright, just so the three of us are on the same page, Thomas has a boyfriend, one he met at the mall 4 hours ago, and now the plan is to run away to France with him?” 

Roman shot him finger guns, “Now you’re getting it,” 

Logan turned to Virgil, “And you’re ok with this?” 

Virgil would never let Thomas talk to a stranger at the mall, let alone run away with him to France. Virgil was the calm, rational side who was supposed to help Logan stop Roman from taking impulsive romantic getaways to France with nothing but a few sets of underwear and a bottle of maple syrup. 

Virgil just shrugged, “He’s a great guy Logan,” 

No doubts? No worries, no second thoughts, no “ _ Logan this man will start stalking us you need to budget in a security camera right now” _ ? 

“Oh come on Logan, even Gerad Gay is on board! Stop being such a buzzkill!” Roman teased. 

“Yeah L, don’t you want Roman to be happy?” Virgil added on slightly and the gears in Logan’s head started turning. 

Something was going on. Virgil never supported Roman, not like this, not in the way that he was going against everything that terrified him. Something happened at the mall because now Virgil is looking at Roman with something in his eyes that Logan can’t decipher. 

_ Fascinating.  _

“Alright,” Logan said, knowing a lost debate when he saw one, “But if you get lost in another country I’m not coming to save you,” 

He steps over a pair of polka-dotted rain boots and makes his way to the kitchen. The sound of black liquid dripping into his mug was drowned out by Roman and Virgil’s bickering. Except it isn’t bickering anymore is it? No this much more friendly, less aggressive, and maybe it was the sleep deprivation but he could swear it was flirtatious. 

He shook his head. That was crazy.

But as he made his way up the stairs it occurred to him that Virgil’s eyeshadow was purple instead of black. That was new.

\-----

Now that he was looking for Virgil’s odd behavior, he could see it everywhere. 

His smiles became less and less rare. Ever since Thomas came back from the mall, Logan can’t recall a day when Virgil wasn’t smiling. After a few days of it flaring up, Logan notices that the new purple eyeshadow is not a fluke. When he has his large headphones on Logan can hear him singing along. His posture is more relaxed, and his laughter is louder now. It’s infectious, seeing Virgil this happy and Logan can feel himself start to loosen up just from being around Virgil. 

Virgil’s behavior isn’t inherently concerning, Logan wants him to be in a good mental state, what concerns Logan is how he acts around Roman. 

Virgil’s smile gets bigger when Roman comes into the common room. In the mornings, he makes his normal black coffee like he always does, but this time he makes a second cup of coffee(well really it’s liquified sugar topped with whipped cream) for Roman. When Roman mentions a musical at dinner Logan can hear it blasting out of Virgil’s room late into the night. 

When Logan goes to his room to ask Virgil for his opinion on his new schedule, he isn’t there. He’s never there, he’s always with Roman and Logan has started going to Roman’s room when he needs to find Virgil. 

Then there are the touches. Virgil has never liked being touched, that’s old news, and yet when Roman bumps elbows with Virgil Logan can see Virgil’s fingers linger in the spot Roman hit. When Roman throws an arm around Virgil he doesn’t pull away like he normally does. Not only that, but he seems to melt into the feeling of Roman’s arm around his. Virgil’s jaw click shuts with the smallest touch and his eyeshadow gets lighter on command. 

Hypervigilant Virgil is too distracted to notice Logan sitting in the corner jotting down his observations while Roman has an arm around his shoulder as he rambles to Virgil about the intricacies of composing a song. And yeah, Logan knows this isn’t the most ethical type of science but if something is going on with two crucial aspects of Thomas’ personality it would be helpful to know what’s going on right? 

It’s not only Virgil either. Roman has been acting stranger too. Logan remembers the months after he sunk out. He remembers hearing Patton bang on Roman’s door until his hands hurt. Roman wouldn’t come out. He remembers being able to see through Roman’s smiles despite being the side least experienced with emotions. Most of the time it felt like Roman wasn't even real. Like the mindscape had its own ghost. 

But when he’s around Virgil now the smiles have substance. Roman’s insults have gotten less sharp, almost endearing. His creative flow has come mysteriously roaring back. Roman has always blasted love songs from his room but now he’s started to sing to them, belting far too loud for Logan’s liking. His current song of choice is Share Your Address by Ben Platt, and now Logan can’t get it out of his head. During movie nights Roman seems to inch closer to Virgil until by the time the credits roll they’re basically on top of each other. 

Logan sees the terror too, he sees the way every time Roman’s eyes meet Virgil’s there’s panic. He knows Virgil well enough to see it, but what he doesn’t expect is the way Virgil pushes through the fear almost every single time. Sure, Logan has seen the flashes of bravery from him, but nothing like this. 

Why is Virgil acting like this? And why is it only around Roman? 

\----------------

Logan will admit this is not his area of expertise. Despite admitting to having feelings, he isn’t Patton, this isn’t his area of expertise

Despite his Pride, he can admit when he needs outside help. Someone who can understand emotions better than he can.

That’s what intelligence is, recognizing what you do not understand, and seeking out the people who do know. Patton would be a good choice, he decides. 

Logan gets up from his desk and starts towards Patton’s room. But when he makes it to the pastel blue door, covered edge to edge in drawings, mostly from Virgil and Roman, he keeps walking, up to the glittery red and gold door. He doesn’t know why, but he has a feeling Roman will be better suited to help. 

Patton’s thing is feelings, he’s good at deciphering them, and Logan has spent hours in his room, sitting on a spinny chair discussing how they work. 

But this isn’t about feelings. Virgil doesn’t seem to be having new feelings, he’s acting differently. He’s doing new things, he’s being brave, and when it comes to bravery, Roman is the expert. Logan doesn’t know how he’s still standing after everything he’s gone through. 

He knocks on the door, a little bit of glitter getting on to his fingers. After a few seconds, the door dramatically swings open. 

“Hey Specs,” Roman says cheerily, with half a face of makeup on. 

“Hello Roman,” Logan says, not quite sure how to phrase what he wants now that he’s here, “I was wondering if you had time to talk?” 

“Sure! Come on in” 

“Are you sure?” Logan says, trying to gesture to Roman’s face without being rude, “You have uh” 

Roman makes a dismissing gesture, “Don’t worry about it, it’s a look,” 

“Right,” Logan mutterers, following Roman into his room. 

It was brighter than when he came to talk to Roman a few months ago. The musical posters were back on the walls and his bed was made. Logan could see the floors and an extremely extra amount of light was turned on. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Roman asked, snapping Logan out of his thoughts. 

“Virgil has been acting abnormal,” Logan said, “and I was wondering if you could help me figure out why,” 

Roman’s eyes filled with much more concern than Logan was expecting, “Is he ok? Is Nico stressing him out or do I need to talk to Janus again-” 

Logan held up a hand to stop his rambling and Roman’s jaw clicked shut, “Nothing like that, I think it’s a positive type of abnormal,” 

Roman’s shoulders relaxed, “Oh, well that’s good.” 

“I agree, it is,” 

“Why do you need my help if it’s a good change?” 

“Because,” Logan said frustratedly, “I don’t understand it and I always understand Virgil, that’s my job, but I don’t get this and I cannot mess this up,” 

Roman’s hands reached up to gently pry Logan’s hands from his hair. When did they get there? Logan’s eyes followed him as Roman pulled his hands down and threaded his fingers through Logan’s. 

“Take your time Lo, it’s ok,”

Logan let out a shaky exhale, “Yeah...I just hate not knowing,” 

Roman hummed sympathetically, “I know the feeling nerd, wanna break down what’s been confusing you?” 

“Virgil’s been acting weird. His eyeshadow has been glowing purple, he plays loud music from his room, he smiles so much now, he face is red all the time, which is odd, because Thomas isn’t sunburnt, he’s hissed at everyone when we touch him but now with you, he acts like a koala bear, he’s putting effort into his appearance and I don’t understand why,” 

“Yeah that does sound strange,” Roman said, “But maybe he’s just excited about Nico, y’ know he was really amazing at the mall you should have seen him what a-” 

Logan tuned out Roman’s gushing as something caught his eye, a hoodie in the corner. And not just any hoodie, no that was Virgil’s hoodie. In Roman’s room

_ Wasn’t trading hoodies something people did when they were romantically involved?  _

_ Oh Shit.  _

It was all so obvious!!! It was right there, the way Roman talked about Virgil the same way Thomas did Nico, the tiny acts of love, the blushing, the bravery. The two of them were in love.

“Thank you Roman, but I think it’s time I take my leave,” Logan said quickly, cutting the prince off. 

Roman’s face twisted in confusion as Logan spun around, “Hey-Logan wait where are you going?” 

Logan was out the door before Roman could stop him, making fast strides and not stopping until he was back in his room with the door shut. 

He breathed out as he sunk down, leaning against his plain wooden door. This was fine. Everything was fine. Virgil was in love with Roman.

Except it wasn’t fine because Logan didn’t see love the way the rest of the sides did. He didn’t see it as a daring adventure like Roman did, or an opportunity the way Janus did. It didn’t come easy to him as it did to Patton, and he wasn't brave like Virgil. He couldn’t be carefree like Remus either. 

If he was being truthful, he was terrified. He’s seen what love does to people. The way it can destroy rationality and progress. How it breaks people. 

Virgil has grown a lot. Logan has watched him scale mountains to reach peaks he couldn’t even see from the ground. He’s proud of Virgil, but he doesn’t want to watch him fall. 

Roman is great. He really is, and Logan enjoys his company, but out of all the sides, he is the most broken. Beaten down and bloodied, gaslighted and tricked, thrown five feet below rock bottom. Roman’s scars haven’t healed over yet, no matter what he says. That kind of hurt can hurt people. Logan cares, more than anyone gives him credit for. He’s tired of love finding his friends and hurting them over and over again. He’s tired of watching people shatter and being forced to watch. 

He turns off the lights, crawls into bed, and hopes they’ll come out of this in one piece.

\------

“I am freaking out right now,” A voice says from behind him.

Virgil.

Logan spins around, ready to help his friend down from an anxiety attack but when he turns around Virgil isn't panicking. He’s shaking his left hand in excitement and his makeup is a light purple. Anxiety can be excitement sometimes, Logan thinks belatedly. 

“Why?” He asks.

Virgil grins, “Roman left a letter under my door this morning,” 

Logan scrunches up his eyebrows, “A letter?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil says, holding it up. It’s a thick envelope, smooth paper, with nothing written on the back except Virgil’s name in perfect cursive, “Could you read it for me?” 

_ No, I would rather not read a love letter from Roman, thank you very much _

“Sure,” Logan says, hesitantly taking the envelope from Virgil.

He carefully opens the letter and pulls it out. It’s old parchment, similar to letters lovers would send each other back in the 19th century. 

“My Dearest, Virgil,” Logan reads, “I put the comma in the middle of the phrase, it changed the meaning, I definitely intended it.” 

Virgil lets out a bark of laughter, “Is that a hamilton reference?” 

“Knowing Roman?” Logan says shaking his head, “Of course it is,” 

“He’s such an idiot,” Virgil says, full of fondness, and Logan needs to take a second. 

Virgil doesn’t get happy. Virgil will give small smiles or relax. Virgil doesn’t do happy, and yet here he is, grinning like crazy, black eyeshadow gone, fully relaxed. Logan remembers what it was like at the beginning when he wouldn’t even trust them with his smirks. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“It’s nice to see you this happy”

\----

“Janus, are you busy right now?” 

Logan approached the table, where the snake faced side was skimming a newspaper and cradling a glass of wine. 

“Yes I’m afraid I’m terribly busy at the moment,” Janus hissed. 

“That is a falsehood,” 

“No shit Sherlock,” Janus said, before flipping down the paper, “What do you need?” 

“I wanted to get your advice on something,” 

Janus’ eyes immediately snap up to meet his, and Logan resists the urge to squirm under his full attention. 

“The great Logic needs my help?” 

“This isn’t a big deal deceit.” 

“Oh  _ of course _ it isn’t” 

“If you’re gonna be like this I can just leave-” 

Janus’ hand shot out, stopping Logan, “I didn’t say I wasn’t intrigued.” 

Logan pulled his hand out of Janus’ grasp, “Okay.” 

“What to do you wish to know?” 

“If you find out someone’s in a romantic relationship with your friend...how do you make sure they won’t hurt the person you care about?” 

“Well,” Janus said, clicking his nails against the table, “There are several ways to display strength but my personal favorite is a shovel talk,”

Logan’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion, “But Thomas does not own any shovels,” 

Janus laughed, “Not a literal shovel talk darling, it’s basically threatening someone, telling them if they hurt your friend you’ll bury them 6 feet under,” 

“Six feet under what?” 

Janus groaned, and Logan forced himself not to smile. It was fun to mess with Janus a bit for a change. 

“Under the ground, because you will have killed them and disposed of the body,” 

“Ah” He paused, “Do you think a baseball bat would be a good substitute?”

\---------------

Logan lightly swung the baseball bat in his hand, waiting for the opportunity to ambush Roman. He had to be appropriately threatening. According to his research, he was doing everything right.

He stood in the corner of the kitchen, letting the shadows take him, waiting for the Prince to enter the kitchen. He finally did around 6:07 pm, coming in to grab a mug. Logan smiled and stepped out of the shadows. 

Roman screamed, loud and high pitched, raising his hands to block a blow Logan wasn’t even throwing. A bit unnecessary, considering Logan hadn’t actually done anything. 

When Roman realized that fact, he stopped and lowered his hands, throwing on a confident smile, “Sorry Specs, you caught me off guard, what can I do for you?” 

Logan held the bat up to Roman’s eyes, “This is a bat,” 

“Yeah?” 

“When I swing it, things break,” 

Roman rolled his eyes, still not getting it, “Yes I know how a bat works Logan, just because I don’t know how to spell Mississippi doesn’t make me stupid” 

“If you were to say,” Logan swung the bat for dramatic effect, “-Hurt Virgil, the thing breaking would be you,” 

Of all the reactions Logan was expecting, Roman bursting out laughing was not one of them. 

“Are you giving me a shovel talk right now?” 

Logan frowned, “This is supposed to be scary, you should be shaking in fear right now,” 

“Ah,” Roman said, and then proceeded to dramatically shiver. This time it was Logan’s turn to roll his eyes. This was not going according to plan. 

“This is the part where you can’t bear eye contact and promise to never hurt Virgil,” 

“What, did you look up how to do this?” Roman scoffed, and then when realized he was being serious held his hands up in surrender and looked away, “Alright fine, fine, I swear that I will not hurt Virgil unless I wish to face the wrath of your bat,” 

Logan narrowed his eyes. He seemed genuine enough. Logan lowered the bat slowly, “Well Good.” 

Roman smiled and went to grab his Disney mug and a packet of hot chocolate, “Hey Logan?” 

“Yes?” 

“You’re a really good friend y’know?” 

A warm feeling spreads throughout his chest, and Logan doesn’t know how to feel about that. Instead, he just smiles back at Roman and quietly says thanks

\------

It was only a matter of time until it fell apart, Logan knew that. Despite what he loves to claim, ignorance is bliss. The honeymoon phase is over. 

It’s a bad day, Thomas has a meeting with a new sponsor and he’s stressed out of his mind, which means Virgil is stressed out of his mind too. 

Logan can feel it, he can feel the anxiety that roars through Thomas’ mind, it makes him slower, more sluggish. He has only one thought on his mind  _ Find Virgil  _

He makes his way down to the common room. Virgil black eyeshadow is pitch black, and it seeps down his cheeks. His hair is in a mess and he’s lashing out in an almost animalistic way. He’s backed himself into a corner, full of glares and snarling. 

Opposite to him stands Roman, brave, stupid Roman, of course, he’s here. The plan is for Logan to handle these situations, but Roman could never listen to that. 

“Stormcloud, please just listen to me!” 

“Shut up,” Virgil growls, burring into his hoodie

“No!” Roman says, “You’re hurting yourself, you’re hurting Thomas, I know this isn’t what you want!”

The panic in Virgil’s eyes is overcome with blinding rage and Logan tenses. There is no easy way out of this. 

“What I want? You know Jack shit about what I want Princey! Everything is always sunshine and rainbows for you, isn’t it? Everything is so easy for you, everything is perfect! Well, breaking fucking news it isn’t! This isn’t okay, we are going to get killed on the car ride over there or they will hate us and we’ll go broke this isn’t fucking okay,” 

“Virgil-” Roman pleads, reaching out, hurt shining in his eyes. 

“Stay away from me,” Virgil hisses, and Logan thinks that this is it. Like all things, happiness is temporary. It takes 10 times as long to pick yourself up than it takes to fall apart.

He expects Roman to leave, to scream, to tell Virgil  _ we’re done.  _ Logan wouldn’t blame him. This is how love works, no matter what those who live it say. It self-destructs. 

Roman is strong, but he can’t be this strong. 

To Logan’s shock, Roman doesn’t listen. He never listens and that’s what makes him outstanding. He ignores Virgil and wraps his arms around Virgil. Virgil fights him, he growls and pushes but Roman doesn’t let go. Soon, Virgil stops. He relaxes into Roman’s strong arms, letting himself be held. Roman starts singing, a Disney song Logan can’t quite place. Logan can’t look away. Roman isn’t as strong as Logan thought he was, he’s stronger, and from the way Virgil is looking at him, he’s thinking the exact same thing. 

“Sorry,” Virgil whispers. 

“It’s okay stormcloud,” Roman says, “All that matters right now is that your okay,” 

Virgil pulls away from the hug and Roman’s face drops again, “Princey look at me,” 

When he does Virgil says, “It’s not ok for me to scream at you. It’s fucked up when I minimize your problems and lash out when you’re trying to help me and I’m...working on it. ” 

“Oh,” Roman says. 

Logan is left speechless too because of all the things he expected when he came down here this wasn’t one of them. Logan was fully ready for this to fall apart, and two years ago it would have. But somehow something is different now and Logan isn’t quite sure what it is. 

“L have you been here the entire time?” Virgil asks with a smirk, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Logan’s face heats up, and he crosses his arms over his chest, “I just wanted to make sure you two were ok,” 

Roman wiggles his eyebrows at Logan, “Enjoying the show?” 

“Absolutely not,” 

Virgil’s smirk gets bigger and he mocks whispers in Roman’s ear, “I know how to get him to go away,” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yep,” Virgil says, and then he bends down to pull Roman in for a kiss. 

Ah yes, what’s the phrase? Karma’s a bitch. Logan’s glad they’re happy but he certainly does not want to see this. 

“For fuck’s sake, get a room!” Logan snaps, and Roman and Virgil laugh. 

He stalks off, acting annoyed but secretly pleased. Thomas is growing up.

\----

“Hey, Virgil do you know where Thomas is planning his next date?” Logan calls from the kitchen, spotting Virgil’s head from the back of the couch. 

“Shh,” Virgil said, “He’s sleeping.” 

_ He? _

Logan strode over to the couch, exiting the kitchen. 

Roman was snoring lightly. Virgil was holding him to his chest and gently running his fingers through his hair. Roman’s prince costume was disheveled and he was completely relaxed, leaning his head back against Virgil’s shoulders. His mouth was slightly opened and his hair was messy. 

Virgil was looking at him with so much love in his eyes. A Different kind of love from the way he looks at Patton. When he looked at Patton, his gaze was soft and full of fondness. When he looks at Roman his eyes are filled with fire. As if he’s saying,  _ this is mine and I will protect it _ . When Virgil looked at Patton it was surrendering to the kind words and soft edges, when he looked at Roman it’s defiance. Bravery. A mix of determination and fear and desire but most of all love.

“You really love him, don’t you?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil said, purple eyeshadow glowing the brightest Logan had ever seen it, “I really do,”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I feel like this had lots of typos and weird tense stuff but I did not want to handle that. This fic is painfully fluffy but I had so much fun writing it!
> 
> Comments are funky fresh!
> 
> come scream at me on tumblr @thefingergunsgirl


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